


A Case of Deja Vu

by HermitLibrary_Archivist



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Post Gauda Prime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-26
Updated: 2008-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-24 00:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4898731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermitLibrary_Archivist/pseuds/HermitLibrary_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>by Sheila Paulson</p><p>After Gauda Prime, the crew of the Scorpio are rescued by someone totally unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Case of Deja Vu

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Judith and Aralias, the archivists: This story was originally archived at [Hermit.org Blake's 7 Library](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Hermit_Library), which was closed due to maintenance costs and lack of time. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2015. We posted announcements about the move and emailed authors as we imported, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Hermit.org Blake's 7 Library collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hermitlibrary/profile). 
> 
> This work has been backdated to 26th of May 2008, which is the last date the Hermit.org archive was updated, not the date this fic was written. In some cases, fics can be dated more precisely by searching for the zine they were originally published in on [Fanlore](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Main_Page).
> 
> **Original Author's Notes:**
> 
> Previously published in 'Input 4'.
> 
> Previously also archived at melchazat.

When I decided to go to Gauda Prime to look for Blake, it was a decision that took a lot of thought and one I wasn't sure of even after we started. There were so many stories and legends about Blake by then that a careful man had to weigh them out to see if it would be to our advantage to link up with him or not. He was reported to be a bit of a fanatic, but Jessa says I have no imagination, so it's hard to say. I know what's right and go by that as often as I can, and she and the others don't have any complaints so far.

I've known what the Federation is for a long time. I had some encounters with them, considered my life ruined by them twice and had once been their prisoner for half a year before they decided they didn't want me and traded me off in a prisoner exchange. Later we learned the exchange was meant to be one way. The Federation officer would be freed by the rebels and I'd be held, but that's how I met Jessa. She popped up beside me at the exchange point with a wide range stun gun and shot everyone but me. "Well, come on," she said impatiently in her gruff voice. "Do you need a bloody invitation to escape? I'm hardly likely to carry you."

Jessa's a little bit of a thing, barely bigger than a child, and no one ever accused me of being a small man, so I grinned and followed her. She took me to the _Voice of Liberty_ , her ship, and introduced me to her crewmates, most of them as tough and war weary as she was. Sorl Banda was captain then, a hard and bitter man who had watched helplessly while the Federation killed his two sons for being resistors. It had turned Sorl into one, and no one I ever saw was more determined to overthrow the Federation than be was.

When Sorl died half a year after the Andromedan war, killed by one of the aliens who had gone to ground on a frontier world, Jessa insisted I take his place. I'm no leader, but with Sorl gone, they needed someone with plain common sense, and I've got that all right.

Besides Jessa, there are the Garik brothers, Rod and Ren, alike as twins though there's a year between them. Rod was blond and Ren's hair was red, so we could tell them apart. We couldn't otherwise because they played up the resemblance and shared opinions like one person instead of two. Sometimes I wondered if they were telepathic, at least with each other, but they couldn't send like Aurons. Ren was the more hotheaded of the two and he had only to offer a crazy idea for Rod to declare it was the best plan since the invention of the stardrive, and we'd be off again.

If not for Jessa and Col, we might have come a cropper after Sorl died, but Col was one of the smartest men I'd ever met, though he didn't flaunt it. He often sat quietly listening to Rod and Ren trying to outshout each other while Jessa coolly put them in their place with a well chosen criticism. She had a sarcastic tongue and she picked on the Gariks as if she were their older sister. With me, she was a little different, annoyed when I'd sit back and let her sarcasm wash over me unoffended. I'd heard worse than the brand she dished out.

We were all a little in love with Jessa, which was maybe surprising since she was so sharp tongued and she wasn't particularly beautiful. A few years older than me, she had been in space since her teens and she had learned to be wary when we left the safety of our ship. She laughed at the 'twins' when they tried to flirt with her, telling them she was old enough to be their mother, which wasn't quite true. Her heart belonged to Col, though, and he wasn't interested. Not that he didn't care for her--or the rest of us; he did. He proved it often enough, going along with our ill-conceived plans, always there when needed. But he wouldn't risk getting close to Jessa. We never learned much of Col's background except that he was a superb weapons' tech with a gift for machinery. He could work on ship repairs with Ren, who was a decent engineer, and would back Rod on the computers though it wasn't his field. He was there for us and favored none, and I thought that best, though I felt for Jessa sometimes.

When I started thinking about offering Blake our services, it was Col who most opposed the plan. He'd heard a nasty rumor that Blake had been captured and programmed after the Andromedan War, thought we couldn't prove it. "They say Blake's different," Col argued. "You know what I mean. They say he doesn't care for anything anymore."

"I can't believe that," I disagreed. "That was never Blake's way."

"Blake's way has been to pursue his cause with utter single mindedness," Col insisted. "He doesn't care who gets hurt along the way."

"Oh, Col, really," burst out Jessa with rare impatience when talking to him. "Look who you're talking to."

I used to know Blake, you see. I fought the Federation at his side before I was captured, and I knew the man, but none of the others did. Recent reports about Blake made me uncomfortable. Maybe Col was right. Maybe he had been conditioned. It had been done to him before--this time might be easier. But we'd never know unless we went, and the five of us with one small ship couldn't do much good. We had some rebel contacts but Blake was the legend. I wanted to go as much as Jessa and the Gariks did.

Col must have seen that, for he gave in. "I think you're wrong," he told me. "I think you all are. You hear the name Blake and go into a trance. He's just one man. Part of his reputation's due to the _Liberator_ and part to Kerr Avon's computer gifts." Col grimaced. "I think Blake's a dangerous fanatic, but that's my opinion. If the rest of you want to go, I'll come along. All I ask is that we don't make a final decision before talking to Blake. Well?" He cocked an eyebrow at each of us in turn.

"You're right," Jessa agreed. She agrees with Col a lot, so none of us were surprised.

"Blake will convince you. You'll see," countered Ren.

"Blake will show you he's just what we need," added Rod. His hair was the same white blond as Col's must have been when he was younger: Col's was mostly grey now. But Rod's and Ren's faces were round and eager, and Col's was long and bony with prominent cheekbones and aristocratic nose. He was the only Alpha among us, though Jessa's father was supposed to have been one. Her mother was a Beta grade technician who had worked on the Federation teleportation project a long time ago. Col said he'd worked on it too before leaving to live on one of the Outer Worlds. He never said why.

"All right, we'll go," I decided. "But carefully. Jess, see if you can turn up any rebel codes that we might use to contact Blake."

"But you know him. You can call in and tell him you're back."

"It was a long time ago I knew him, Jessa."

"He won't have forgotten you."

"No, but he won't expect me either. Let's not commit ourselves too early."

So we went to Gauda Prime. The news we picked up along the way wasn't good. I was beginning to think we should turn round before we arrived. GP had been wild and free, with the criminal element going their own way--maybe Blake thought he'd be safer from the Federation there--but now there was an attempt to restore the Rule of Law and bounty hunters were everywhere. The last thing any of us wanted was to meet a bounty hunter, but it might give us cover because we could pretend to be bounty hunters ourselves.

I didn't like the idea. No one who looked at Rod and Ren would believe it of them. Col and Jessa could probably pull it off; they'd been around long enough to have acquired an edge. Col looked neither innocent nor naive, but Col was not the world's greatest actor either. An Alpha bounty hunter, now there was something.

When I hesitated, Ren cried, "But Blake might be in danger."

"Maybe it's a scheme to get him," Rod agreed with his brother. "Maybe we can rescue him."

After that, nothing could have kept the boys from Gauda Prime, and Jessa agreed with them. She could be reckless, the way she'd been when she first rescued me. Col grimaced in a way that always reminded me of Avon and nodded. "I won't swim against the tide. All right. We'll go."

As we neared the planet, we almost came under attack and I was all for pulling out and leaving Blake to his own devices until things calmed down. But we were ignored. Small fish, maybe. We managed a landing not far from Blake's base. I was afraid someone would come to investigate us: Federation, Blake's patrols, bounty hunters. We armed ourselves with our stun weapons and waited but nothing happened. A couple of flyers went into the base, and Jessa reported a troop ship coming down beyond it, further away than we were.

"An ambush." Col sounded unsurprised. "I knew this was a bad idea."

"We have to warn Blake!" cried Ren.

"I've been trying," Jessa said, looking up from the comm board. "I can't reach anyone."

I had to make a hard decision then because it looked like trouble if not an out-and-out trap, but Blake needed warning. Maybe his communications were down. If we went now, we could get in and out again before the troops arrived but only if we hurried and were very lucky. I announced my decision and the brothers broke into smiles. Jessa nodded, satisfied, as if she'd read me right. Col grimaced, but he came, the way he always does.

"Will he be glad to see you?" Jessa asked, falling into step as we went through the forest.

"Surprised, more likely. He thinks I'm dead."

"Why didn't you ever tell him you weren't?"

I thought it over. I wasn't sure why I'd never contacted Blake.

While I was considering, Col joined us. "He abandoned you, didn't he? I should think that's why."

"Would you come back for a dead man, Col ?" I asked. "Blake thought I was dead . My limiter malfunctioned and depressed my life signs. I would have looked dead unless he checked very closely. He didn't have time. The place was about to come down around his head, and he had the others to think about."

"But he left you for Servalan," Jessa protested. We didn't talk much about such things, but she must have guessed I wouldn't mind now. "Weren't you angry?"

"Yes, at first, until the doctor let it slip I'd looked dead. Servalan thought me dead when she found me: one of the mutoids discovered I was still alive." I shrugged. "They put me back together. I think Servalan meant to use me to capture Blake, but then Blake left the _Liberator_ and was hard to find. Servalan must not have thought Avon would risk himself for me."

"Wouldn't he though?" asked Rod, overhearing us. "He was one of Blake's people, wasn't he?" His look all but accused me of blasphemy.

"Yes, but Avon wasn't the type for heroic rescues. He might have rescued me himself if he didn't take the time to think it out beforehand, but he wouldn't have risked the ship and the rest of them without a lot of guarantees. Avon was hard to understand, but Vila and I talked about him sometimes. Vila did understand him, I think, but he didn't let Avon guess. Avon and I weren't close. He had a brilliant mind, very quick, and I'm a plodder, always was. One step at a time, that's me."

"You get us where we want to go," said Jessa. "Why didn't Avon and Blake get together after the Galactic War?"

"I wish I knew. Avon wanted the _Liberator_. He talked of leaving Blake on Earth after we destroyed Central Control. Blake would then united the rebels there and coordinate rebel activity and Avon would keep the ship."

"But Central Control wasn't on Earth, " said Ren. "And they say Avon destroyed the _Liberator_ in his eagerness to find Blake again."

"'They' say a lot of things," Col reminded him deprecatingly. "I can't quite see him rushing off to find Blake. Avon wasn't that sentimental--from what you've told us."

It was true. Avon wasn't sentimental. "He was never as hard as he wanted people to think," I decided, surprised at the sudden realization. "I don't know about now, how he's changed, but once he said he'd never understood why it was necessary to become irrational to prove you cared or why it was necessary to prove it at all." I smiled. "Meaning he never proved it. We had to take him on faith. He came down and rescued us on Horizon when he could have taken the _Liberator_ and run. He didn't have to free us either. He'd almost convinced himself we were dead." I peered through the thinning trees. "We're coming up on the base. Keep it quiet now."

No one challenged us. I found that suspicious and I don't have a suspicious nature. But a hidden rebel base should try to stay hidden and this was wide open. We went though the hangars where flyers were parked and if we triggered an alarm, it was a silent one. But we heard an alarm after leaving the hangar. I don't think we triggered it: it was already going. Maybe they'd spotted the troop ship after all.

As we went on, the alarm stopped, though red lights kept flashing. We checked our weapons and went on nervously. Then we came to a control center and stopped in the doorway to a horrible sight. Avon stood there, weapon raised, his face ghastly, and on the floor between his feet was Blake's body, covered with blood. Troopers were all round Avon--where had they come from? A smile spread across his face as he prepared to fire. I knew the minute he did, he'd be a dead man, so I started firing first.

Col had designed our wide angle stun guns, very useful when you're one against a lot, and though the range is much shorter than a standard weapon's, this room was no trouble. Using a stun gun didn't affect my limiter either, as long as 'stun' was the weapon's only setting. Give me a multi-function gun and I'd freeze and the pain would come back.

Avon would have to be stunned too, but I thought he'd prefer it to dying. When I fired, Ren and Rod did too, and everyone crumpled. Jessa was behind us, but she could see enough to bite off any questions, and Col stood like a statue. He wasn't above being shocked.

When everyone but us was flat on the floor, I gestured my people into the room. "We don't have much time. The rest of those troopers are on their way. Grab everybody still alive who's not in Federation uniforms and let's get out of here."

I went to Blake, sure he was dead, but he wasn't; he was still breathing raggedly. He looked dreadful, but when I tore his shirt open, I saw he was wearing body armor. If he'd not been hit at such close range, it might have held up, but it had been enough to save him, though he looked a mess. Most of the blood was superficial, though the armor had ruptured and torn up the skin of his belly. If he lived, he'd have bad scars there.

I saw Col checking Avon, who had fallen beside Blake and lay with his head pillowed on Blake's shoulder. Col's face was as white as Avon's and his hand gripped Avon's wrist to check his pulse. "He's just stunned," I reminded Col. "Check the others."

"This one's alive," Ren called out, and I saw it was Vila. "Stunned and a little shocky, but he'll make it."

"So's this woman," Jessa reported. I had no idea who she was. She was blond and younger than Jenna.

"Can you bring her?" I asked. Being the biggest, I'd have to carry Blake, and I'd let Col manage Avon.

"I think so. She's not hurt."

"I've got another," Rod reported. He'd been circling the room and now he stopped beside a young man who looked like he'd been worked over before being stunned. Like Blake, his hair was curly. He was another stranger.

"Is that all?" We were running out of time.

No one else had survived, so each of us took one of Blake's people. Jessa was overloaded, but it's not her way to complain, and Ren and Rod would die before admitting any weakness. Col had Avon slung over his shoulder, but I couldn't do that with Blake because of his wound. It was one of those times when being bigger than most people comes in handy.

We got into cover among the trees before any more troops arrived, though I doubted we missed them by much. The 'twins' led the way with Vila and the other man, and I made Jessa stay in front of me so she wouldn't fall behind unnoticed. When we reached the ship, she was spent and left the blond woman just inside the airlock while the rest of us carried the men to the medical unit. I wanted a good look at Blake since his was the most serious injury. We gave the battered young man the other med table and Ren went back for the blond girl.

Leaving Gauda Prime seemed very urgent by then; when the backup troops came in they'd know someone had been before them and they'd look for us, so we'd have to run or fight. The _Voice_ is a decent ship and others think it's marvellous, except for Col, who doesn't think anything is, but they hadn't been on _Liberator_. I knew we could outrun pursuit given a decent chance, but there were no guarantees of that.

I had Ren and Rod go to the flight deck with Jessa to man the weapons and back her. I stayed to work on Blake. I was surprised when Col chose to stay too, but I put him to work with the young man.

Besides losing blood and having the skin of his belly torn up, Blake wasn't too badly hurt. Col had taught me to read some of the medical scanners, so I could set up a transfusion though the machines did most of the work. Once replacement blood was pumping into Blake's body and the wound covered with a regen compound, I could safely leave him and see to the others.

Col had finished his patient by then. "He's a bit the worse for wear but it's the stun that's made him unconscious. They were all stunned. It seems the Federation wanted them alive." He began to examine Avon.

"He'll be all right," I said. "He was hit with our wide angle beam." Col's design was very handy for the kind of fighting we'd done at Blake's base, where you're clearly outnumbered and scoring direct hits doesn't matter as much as stopping the enemy and getting out alive.

I checked Vila next, and suspected he was shamming. If he'd recognized my voice, he didn't admit it, but he was too tense to be unconscious, and as I bent over him, he groaned tentatively. He didn't want to open his eyes to a Federation prison and discover a torturer bending over him, but he was listening for all he was worth.

"Come on, Vila, you're alive and well," I encouraged him. "We brought out everyone still alive. We're ready to leave Gauda Prime, and I could use your help." To prove me right, Jessa came over the intercom and told us to brace for takeoff, then the ship began to lift. I steadied Vila through the initial boost.

He opened on eye and peered at me. He must have remembered my voice, but it was the last one he'd expect. Suddenly I was sorry I hadn't let him know I was alive.

When he saw me, he turned paler than before and shut the eye quickly. "I knew it," he moaned, "I'm dead."

"No, you're not, and I'm not either," I reassured him. "Sit up and take a look around. Avon and Blake are here and two others I don't know."

"Avon and _Blake_!" Vila cried, bouncing up so quickly he almost fell over. "Blake's dead, isn't he? And you're dead, Gan." His eyes opened so wide I thought his eyeballs would pop out. "Is this...Hell?"

"Not even Heaven, Vila. Take it easy, you've been stunned."

He made a face. "I know that. I feel terrible. I'm going to be sick."

Deftly Col passed me a basin. I held it for him and steadied him until he finished retching, then I wiped his face and eased him back against the wall. "You'll feel better soon, Vila. You shouldn't move around so much until the stun wears off."

"I'll never move again." His eyes moved though, searching the room. "Avon. I should have known he'd make it." He didn't sound pleased, but the muscles in his shoulders relaxed. "He is alive, isn't he? Murderous bastard, he always survives."

"He's alive. He was standing protecting Blake from the Federation when we arrived."

" _Protecting_ Blake?" Vila shook his head and winced.

"Straddling his body, gun raised. He looked like he knew he had no chance, but then he smiled. I supposed because he'd take some of them with him?"

"No, it was because he knew they'd kill him." It was the blond woman, who sat up very carefully, holding her head in her hands. "I think he wanted to die. Did you say Blake was _alive_?"

"Wanted to _die_?" muttered Col in a horrified voice.

"Blake is alive," Vila confirmed. "Soolin, this is Gan."

"I thought Gan was dead." She stared at me.

"So did I. But he's not--not unless we're all dead?" he finished nervously.

"None of you are dead," Col said, removing the basin and sticking it in a disposal chute.

Vila stared at him, his eyes widening again. "I know you, don't I?" he said in a strange voice. "Surely I know you."

Looking uncomfortable, Col turned to the other unconscious man. "We have never met."

"But--"

A groan from Avon interrupted him, and Vila moved to place me between him and Avon. "You take care of him," the thief said. "That'll give him a good shock."

"I don't think he needs any more shocks, Vila," Soolin reproved him. She got up carefully and sat beside Avon, touching his arm. "Avon, it's Soolin. We're safe and away from the Federation."

Maybe she thought he'd come up fighting but he didn't. Instead he opened his eyes and my heart lurched because his eyes looked dead. There was no expression in them at all. "Vila's here," Soolin went on. "And Tarrant, though he's still unconscious."

"Blake's alive, Avon," Vila said meaningfully, winning a hard look from Soolin, who had evidently meant to tell him more gently.

Avon flinched. "Blake is dead." His voice was as empty as his eyes.

Col turned from Tarrant and spoke in a tone I'd never heard from him before. "Blake is alive. I promise you that."

Avon went so white he looked like an albino. I thought nothing could distract him from Blake's survival, but Col did. Avon's eyes closed tight like a child's will when he sees something too frightening to look at, and his hands closed into fists. He quivered and shook.

Vila glared at Col and sat beside Avon. I had wondered at Vila's hostility to Avon, but he didn't sound hostile now. "Avon," he said gently. "You're not seeing ghosts. I promise. You're not. I don't understand either."

"You? Understand?" Avon opened his eyes. They passed me without more than a flicker of surprise, lingered on Blake with the blood dripping into his arm and then returned to Col, who had not moved. They stared at one another.

"Hello, Kerr," said Col.

"You are dead," Avon returned in an unsteady voice. "I know you are dead."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not."

"If you're not," Avon replied in the strangest voice yet, "Then I am not sorry."

I didn't know how he meant that, and I don't think Col did either because he took a step back as if Avon could do less damage from there. To everyone's surprise, Avon hesitated then stretched out his hand to Col, and Vila stopped being protective and gave Col room to take it.

Col pulled Avon to him and hugged him. "I've missed you," he said.

Avon mumbled something that might have been agreement and actually hugged him back. After a long moment, he caught himself, jerked free and said furiously, "Where the _hell_ have you been?"

I looked at Vila, who was smiling in a very know-it-all fashion. "This is only my ship. Why should I know what's going on?"

"I don't know either," Soolin admitted. "But Vila does. He's going to tell us right now, aren't you, Vila?"

"Anybody can see it. Look at them. " He gestured at Col, who was facing Avon talking nineteen to the dozen. "He's Avon's brother, that's who he is. Avon must have thought he was dead."

A bell rang in my head. I'd thought more than once that Col reminded me of Avon but the blond hair had misled me. I'd noticed Col making references to Avon once or twice and thought he'd picked it up from my talk about the _Liberator_. But when we'd entered Blake's control center, Col had gone straight to Avon and had fussed over him ever since.

"It's too many resurrections for one day," lamented Vila. "You owe us a story, Gan. How did you survive? Blake said you were dead. Why isn't _he_ dead? Avon shot him thoroughly enough."

Col and I echoed, "Avon shot him?" in astonishment. Avon had fought with Blake and disagreed with him and sometimes acted as if he hated him, but I'd never quite believed it. I couldn't imagine Avon shooting Blake. Avon avoided looking at Col, staring at his hands with a great show of interest.

"It was party my fault," said the battered young man, Tarrant, who was sitting up in bed watching us with a bemused face. He must have been awake and listening. "Blake was playing at being a bounty hunter and I thought he meant to turn us in for the reward. Now I don't think so, but Blake's devious. He must have been testing me to see whose side I was on because I don't think he's gone bad. Gone mad maybe, but that's different. He had a woman there, Arlen. She was an undercover Federation officer who had worked her way into Blake's organization and set up the ambush at the end. We came at the wrong time." He turned to me. "Did I hear Vila call you Gan?"

I nodded. "We rescued you. We're trying to run the blockade."

"We're doing it. Can't you feel it? We're almost free of the atmosphere."

I hadn't been paying attention, but he was right.

"Who are you?" I asked. "Besides being a pilot. "

"He's Tarrant," Vila introduced. He glared at Tarrant. "You had to do it, didn't you? You told Avon Blake betrayed him."

"I thought he had," Tarrant defended himself. "What was I supposed to do, let him turn us in for the reward?"

"You could have been a little more circumspect," Soolin said. "But Blake's still alive."

Avon's eyes went to Blake, and Tarrant stared, wide-eyed, at the supposed corpse. "He was wearing body armor," I explained. "If he was pretending to be a bounty hunter, the armor was a good idea."

Avon moved stiffly, and Col helped him to his feet. He went to Blake's bed and looked at him, and I couldn't guess what he was feeling. For a long time, he stood there, then, without warning, he turned and walked out of the room. Col looked after him, gave me an apologetic smile, and followed him.

Vila stared after them miserably, then he got up and went to stand by Blake. "He didn't explain," he said. "Avon asked him to, said he didn't understand, but Blake didn't explain. He never did. I don't know why Avon thought this time would be different."

I watched Soolin get up carefully and join Vila beside Blake, while Tarrant propped himself up on his elbow.

"Blake always did things his own way," I agreed.

Vila exchanged a look with the other two, then he cried, "Wait a minute. 'Where's Dayna?" And all three of them froze.

"If you've left her..." Tarrant started, half sitting up, then his voice trailed off. "She's dead, isn't she?"

"We brought out everyone alive, Tarrant," I told him. "I'm sorry."

"Arlen shot her," Soolin reminded Tarrant. "She shot that man of Blake's and he's not here either. I think the Federation troops had their guns set to stun and planned to take us alive, but Arlen was undercover and had to protect herself."

"Servalan would've been furious if she'd killed Avon or Blake," Vila muttered. "She'd have wanted them alive." He was quiet a minute, then he said, "Poor Dayna."

"She knew she could die," Soolin said flatly. The three of us looked at her, then Vila nodded reluctantly.

"We should never have gone there," he said at last. "And I bet Avon noticed right away that she wasn't here."

" At least Blake's alive," I pointed out. None of them looked like they considered it a fair trade. "You should rest," I said. "You've all been stunned, and you don't feel very well."

Vila opened his mouth, either to agree or protest, then he broke off as the whole ship rocked violently. "So much for running the blockade."

Tarrant staggered to his feet, caught his balance, looking like he was fighting not to be sick. "Where's the flight deck?"

"You're not up to--"

"I'm probably the best pilot on board. Argue later."

Jessa's voice came over the intercom then. "We could use some help up here," she said dryly.

I hit the return button. "On the way." Then I led them to the flight deck.

The ship rocked twice more before we got there, but it felt more like near misses than actual damage, and we've got a strong force wall. By the time we reached the flight deck, I'd told Tarrant what type of ship we had and he had nodded knowingly.

"I've experience with a ship like this," he said.

"He's very good," Soolin added quietly.

"He's as good as Jenna," Vila added breathlessly. He looked scared, which, oddly enough, reassured me. Vila, Avon and Blake had evidently all changed. I was glad there was still one thing the same.

There was no time for introductions. We burst onto the flight deck to find my whole crew there, Col manning weaponry. Avon wasn't there, which surprised me a little.

"Tarrant's the best pilot on board," I said. "Let him at it, Jess."

She didn't argue. Tarrant went to her station and I eyed them with respect as Tarrant stood watching over her shoulder, checking the readouts until he was familiar with them before he tapped her arm briefly. She slid out of position and he slid in so neatly that there seemed no transition. At once he set to work, and Jessa nodded approvingly and moved to the auxiliary potion where she activated the screen. There were no ego problems with Jessa.

I checked the main screen that revealed three pursuit ships coming in at an intercept course. "They've been trying to cut us off," Jessa announced. "If we can get past them we'll be home free."

Vila eyed the screen uneasily, and Soolin looked around the flight deck with a cool expression, studying each member of the crew. She watched Col the longest, probably as intrigued as I was by his relationship to Avon, but she eyed Jessa too and seemed satisfied, only looking mildly amused at the Gariks, who were as gung-ho as ever.

Then Tarrant altered course on a heading straight toward the lead pursuit ship as if he meant to ram it, and Col's eyebrows climbed up his forehead. He opened his mouth to protest, but at the last moment kept silent.

"Here, what are you about?" Vila demanded uneasily, but a sharp gesture from Soolin shut him up. The pursuit ship loomed larger and larger on the screen, then at the last possible moment, it jerked aside and we went smoothly past. Col let out his breath in a near whistle, but Tarrant began feeding instructions into his equipment to avoid fire, weaving about the sky like an expert. For what seemed a long time, we were buffeted about by the odd near miss, but only once did a charge actually impact on the force wall. The lights dimmed momentarily but came right back, and it wasn't long after that when Ren announced with satisfaction that we were out of range.

Tarrant laid in a new course and set us on it at top speed. Out of range didn't mean out of danger.

But the immediate tension had eased, and it was time for introductions. At once Ren and Rod gathered around Tarrant and began congratulating him on his skill, and after they ran down, Jessa joined him. "Del Tarrant," she greeted. "I've heard of you. You're as good as they say you are. You're even better than me, and I don't get too many chances to say that."

"You were holding them," he returned. "You might have got past them even without the games." Satisfied with each other, they turned for the rest of the introductions.

"I think we need to rest," I cut in. "It's been a rough day. Jess, do you think you're up to manning the flight deck awhile longer?"

She nodded. "No problems. "

"I'll rest," Vila volunteered. "And I wouldn't say no to a glass of adrenalin and soma. Do you have any, Gan?"

"If I'd known you were coming, I'd have laid in a supply, but I think we can find something. The only problem we've got now is that this is a small ship, and I'll have to double everyone up. Soolin, you can bunk with Jessa, Vila with me."

"Kerr is already in my cabin," Col volunteered, but he looked restrained and didn't offer any further information. He looked weary and depressed and I guessed the reunion had not gone very well.

"What about me?" asked Tarrant.

"Well, we've run out of cabins. You can bunk in the medical unit for the time being, all right?"

Tarrant nodded. "Somebody should probably check on Blake anyway. At least he's alive."

"And Avon's brother's here," Soolin reminded them as I led my three passengers back toward the medical unit. Blake didn't stir when we entered, but he looked like he was resting easier. "He must have thought he was dead. I never saw Avon react like that before."

"Maybe it will help," said Vila doubtfully. Col didn't look like it had helped. "Avon's changed a lot, Gan. You wouldn't know him. He doesn't even tease me any more. When he insults me now, he means it." He looked small and sad. "He even tried to kill me."

After hearing how Avon shot Blake, I wasn't surprised, though it had sounded like a misunderstanding. I didn't think this was. "What happened?"

Vila told me. They'd been on a shuttle over the planet Malodaar that weighed too much to achieve escape velocity and Avon had hunted Vila through the ship, evidently prepared to toss him out the airlock to lighten the load. Then he had found something heavy enough to serve and pushed it out instead. "He called to me to help him, and he sounded more normal," Vila finished. "But I was--I didn't come out till after. He was never the same to me again."

"Or you to him," Tarrant said neutrally.

"I had cause," Vila defended himself. "What would you have done if he'd tried to kill you?"

"Probably gone for him," Tarrant admitted. "I guessed what happened on Egrorian's shuttle, Vila, though you and Avon weren't talking. I wondered about it. I think you'd be dead if he'd really wanted to kill you."

Soolin looked surprised as if she had not expected reassurances from Tarrant, but then she said, "He's right. Because you probably wouldn't fight back, not against Avon. You'd hide if anything. But where could you have hid after the shuttle was stripped down?"

"I never thought you'd defend Avon," snapped Vila. "I thought of all that, didn't I? You weren't there. If you had been, you'd have hauled me out and tossed me off the ship to save your own skins. If you had, I would've fought you." Bitterness had run through all their voices, even Tarrant's when he had meant to reassure. I wondered how bad things were between them all.

"But not Avon?" I asked .

"You tear yourself up for him and he only hurts you," Soolin said unexpectedly. "Is it worth it, Vila?"

"You wouldn't think so, would you? You're almost as bad as he is. He hurts himself more than he ever hurts me anyway." Vila bit his lip and turned away. I thought he didn't want the others to see his face. Vila was much cleverer than me but he knew how to play the fool. Sometimes on _Liberator_ , we'd laugh about it. I wasn't laughing now. These people were at the end of their rope. I wondered if Blake could help.

"And that makes it all right?" Tarrant cried incredulously. "Avon's a cold hearted bastard who doesn't care for anyone, not even himself. He needed Blake, I think, because Blake could keep him whole, or at least as whole as he could ever be. That's why we've hunted him, because Avon couldn't stop, even though he didn't accept that he needed Blake or ever had. We've all just got further and further apart, especially after Cally died. We should be working together, but we're not. We're running the Red Queen's Race, to keep from getting worse, and we're losing. Now we've found Blake and all but killed him. It would've been more than one man who died." He looked at Blake uneasily. "Avon might have been better off never having known him."

"That's your guilt talking, Tarrant." Vila's chin jutted out as he faced Tarrant down. "But you might be right. We can't keep pulling in different directions. Here's Blake and he's alive, and Avon's brother's here. Maybe they've got their own problems, but Avon was glad to see him, so he might do some good. At least Avon reacted to him at first. If Blake doesn't wake up cursing him, Avon might have a chance."

He turned his back on Tarrant and looked at me. "What should we do, Gan? you were always straightforward. The rest of us play games, and that makes it worse. I think you have the right idea."

Vila _had_ changed. The acid bitterness in his voice was new, and he'd never let the pain show like this before. Vila fancied the role of court jester, but a jester must be a wise man underneath. Maybe Vila was wise, but he'd played the part so long it became real and he made mistakes, like the time he'd thrown his gun away on the _London_. Vila was smart, but he wanted answers from me. Anyone will tell you I'm not smart, but Jessa says I have common sense. I've just lived a good bit, that's all.

"I've got one idea," I said slowly. "But it's not easy."

"What is it?" Soolin asked, interested.

I wondered if Blake was listening. He shifted slightly. "You could try being honest with each other."

None of them liked that very much. They were too used to hiding. Even at best on _Liberator_ , we'd done that. It's the life the Federation makes us live. It's safest to hold back, but that only hurts in the long run. Avon was an extreme case, but the others had only been better in degree. There was even some of it on my ship; Jessa's surface cynicism, Col's secretive nature. Maybe Alphas were raised like that. But Vila had grown up in a large, extroverted Delta family and he was nearly as bad.

"All this thinking is giving me a headache," I said with a smile. "But--"

"You're doing it too," Vila cried gleefully. "You were never stupid. Maybe you aren't as clever as Avon, but who is? You were smart enough to live without destroying yourself. He's right, Soolin."

She frowned. "I don't choose to bare my soul to you."

"That's not what I mean," I said. "You're all worried about Avon, I could tell. You're afraid of what Blake will do when he wakes up. If he starts cursing Avon and wants to shoot him in revenge, the rest of you will try to protect him, though you'll pretend that's not really what you're doing, even you, Vila. Even though he might have tried to throw you off that shuttle."

"What do you mean, might?" Vila cried.

"If he'd tried to kill you, you'd be dead. Where is there to hide in a stripped-down shuttle?" I turned pointedly to Tarrant and Soolin, who looked slightly abashed. "You haven't convinced Vila," I told them. "Though you didn't have to try."

They started to protest, then they went quiet, and I kept on. "Convincing Avon will be harder. If Avon and Vila can be friends again, it will help everyone. They need that friendship."

"Avon needs Blake too," Vila said in a little voice. "I think they almost turned into each other when they were apart. They weren't comfortable together but there was something there. Blake looked as nasty and suspicious as Avon when we got to Gauda Prime, and Avon keeps trying to win the rebellion." He heaved a sigh. "I'm glad you're here, Gan. We need somebody like you. It's been terrible, especially since Cally--"

"Nobody ever talked about her," Soolin said. "When I joined the crew, I used to wonder if I'd be ignored and forgotten if I died. Then once, when I mentioned Cally, Vila snapped at me and I realized she wasn't forgotten, just a forbidden subject."

"You don't know anything about it," Vila snapped, then he shut up. After a long pause, he said, "I really liked Cally. In a way, I think Avon loved her. Not like lovers," he went on quickly. "But Cally gave us a--a center, a heart. After she was gone we didn't have it anymore."

"But you could have done," I said. "Don't you see, Vila. You had each other if you'd tried."

"It sounds far too easy," Tarrant replied. He sat down on the med table he'd abandoned in the crisis, his face too white. Some adrenalin and soma might help him too.

"With Avon around?" Vila was skeptical. "Nothing's easy with him."

"I think you should all rest now," I said. "Will you be all right here, Tarrant? We can clear out a hold and make another cabin, but probably not until tomorrow."

"I might as well stay," Tarrant answered. "I can watch him."

I checked the monitors. "I think he's sleeping now."

"Not unconscious?" Soolin asked. She looked at Blake's face as if answers were printed there.

"He lost a lot of blood. He'll probably sleep the clock around." I clapped Vila on the shoulder and steered him and Soolin toward the door. "Can you stay awake until I've done my rounds?" I asked Tarrant as we went out.

"With this headache? I don't have a hope of sleep."

 

 

 

 

*****

 

I showed Soolin and Vila their bunks and left them to sleep, then I went to the flight deck, where Ren and Rod were squabbling amiably about which of them should stand first watch. I dispatched Rod to sleep, eyed Jessa as she stretched in position, rubbed her eyes and did a few calisthenics.

"All right?" I asked her.

"Wide awake," she said mendaciously.

"Demonstrably," retorted Col. He did look awake, and glued to his position. I would have liked to talk to him, but he showed no signs of wanting to talk, so I left it for a bit and went to catnap myself. It looked like the next days would be difficult and I could face them better if I were rested. Avon I wasn't so sure of. I'd always made myself stand up to him in the old days, but that was before he got into the habit of trying to kill his friends. I was glad of Col's relationship to him because I thought it might help.

Before my nap, I looked in on Tarrant and saw that he had dozed off in spite of his good intentions and his headache, and I smiled a little and pulled a blanket over him before I went off. When I came back some hours later, neither he nor Blake had stirred.

I checked on the flight deck and saw that Rod was back and that Jessa had gone to rest. Ren looked like he could go on forever, so I didn't push him but gave Col a meaningful look. "Your turn to rest, my friend."

His mouth twisted into something that didn't quite look like a smile. "Come along and have some coffee with me, " he urged.

"How's Avon?" I asked him as we left the flight deck. I knew he didn't really want to talk about his brother, but I could feel that he planned to.

"I left him sleeping. He said he wasn't very happy to see me and I'd just as well have stayed away."

"You didn't by chance believe that?" I asked with a smile. Even I was used to Avon's rhetoric.

Col shook his head. "He needs the rest. Oh, god, Gan," he burst out unexpectedly, "He's in bad shape. I'm a thrice damned fool for not telling him I was alive."

"Why didn't you?" I asked. "I didn't guess you were his brother. You never told us." As we walked along together, I noticed suddenly that his walk resembled Avon's. I must have been blind not to see the resemblance before.

"Why didn't I?" he repeated. "For a lot of reasons. At first it was to protect him, then to protect _me._ After he was with Blake it wasn't safe to be known as his brother."

I led the way into the rest room and got us each a cup of coffee. "Tell me about it," I urged, gesturing him into a chair.

"Well, a long time ago, when Kerr was about sixteen, I got mixed up in the Freedom Party. The Federation was starting to be seriously repressive even then though the resistance didn't really start gaining momentum until the time Blake first got involved. I worked with Hal Mellanby and his people, and the only reason I wasn't caught with them was because I was offworld at the time trying to set up contacts. I'd never used my real name and I was never sure that someone might make the connection. Our family was in commerce and they had a lot of status. I didn't think they'd actually be shipped off to the Outer Worlds or a penal planet if I were caught: they usually reserve such treatment for people less well connected.

"Kerr was just a boy then and he was always a loner, too intelligent for his own good. He never made friends easily and he was a bit of a snob. He was uncomfortable with strangers, but he and I were close, though I'm seven years older. When Kerr and I were alone together, he was totally different. He would chatter away, completely relaxed. He'd tell me what books he'd read and what he meant to do with his life, and he had all kinds of dreams. I had a feeling he could do anything if only he'd let go and take the necessary risks, but something always held him back. He trusted me completely but he was afraid to trust other people. Every time he tried, something went wrong and I think he finally came to believe he was the one at fault. But he was safe with me. I encouraged him all I could, but I was the only one who did.

"Our parents were the typical upper echelon Alphas, proud, remote. I used to sneak off to the Delta domes for recreation--a lot of young Alphas did; slumming. But I made a friend there. I would go to his home and I couldn't believe how different it was. They used to laugh, Gan. They actually hugged each other when they came in at the end of the day--and sometimes for no reason but simple affection. They stood up for each other. Oh, I know they might not have been typical, but it was a revelation to me.

"I took Kerr there once--he was fifteen then--and he just stood there wide-eyed, unable to understand. I remember when we went home our parents were watching the financial news and they gave us the usual polite, disinterested greetings--they were always bloody polite but never quite human--and Kerr just stared at them. Then he went into his room and closed the door. He was very quiet for a long time after that, and the worst of it was that they didn't even notice."

He slid his coffee cup around on the table top, his eyes following the movements. I'd never heard him say so much at one time before in all the time I'd known him.

"Kerr started making disparaging remarks about Deltas after that, but I think it was because they had something he never could. I found out later he'd gone back once without me, and they'd welcomed him, inviting him in and going their exuberant way around him, asking his opinion when they quarreled, even teasing him. He didn't know how to be teased, Gan. He never went back, and they didn't understand why."

"You couldn't tease him on _Liberator_ either," I remembered sadly, "though Vila managed it sometimes."

"Maybe he could accept it from Vila because he remembered my friends." He sipped his coffee and grimaced at the taste. We can't get the _Voice's_ coffee to be anything but bitter. Ren insists he could use it to clean the drive.

"Vila was always good for him," I said.

"Kerr told me something of the shuttle incident," Col said surprisingly. I hadn't expected that. Maybe Avon had wanted to shock his brother into hostility because that was what he expected from everyone. "Do you know about it?"

"Vila told me."

"He sat there in my cabin and listed all the people he'd killed, people who mattered to him. He said he was glad I was alive because it meant he hadn't killed me yet. I think he might run for fear it could still happen."

"It would break Vila's heart if he ran."

"I wish Vila would tell him so. Though I'm afraid Kerr would just stand there like that poor confused fifteen year old boy and never understand."

"He might if Blake tells him. But go on. You were a rebel with Mellanby's group. What happened next?"

"When I learned what happened, I ran. It wasn't that I was afraid for myself--or so I tried to believe--but I didn't want to reflect back on Kerr. By then I didn't care about my parents. I was right. I found out later they never went to see Kerr in prison when he was arrested for the bank job. He had to wait all alone, though by then he probably didn't expect better. They say there was a woman in it. Anna Grant. I knew he cared for her."

"And she didn't come either?" I asked .

He shook his head. "I was on Singer's Planet then, too far away to do anything, and right after that, I met Sorl and joined this ship. But I kept blaming myself for Kerr. I don't think you ever stop being a big brother, Gan."

"That's why you listened to my _Liberator_ stories so closely, isn't it? And that's why you urged Sorl and the others to rescue me, because you knew I'd been with Avon."

"I was suspicious of the exchange, but when I heard it was you, I knew it was worth a try. Avalon liked the idea of our wide angle stun weapons and let us go in. I'm glad it worked. But I confess I thought you'd want to team up with Blake and Kerr again and that I'd find him."

"And I didn't ," I said sadly. "Maybe if I'd known you were Avon's brother I might have tried."

"I was so used to concealing my identity, I thought it might even be safer for the rest of you. If you didn't know who I was, you might not be in trouble for associating with me."

I shook my head sternly, wishing I'd followed my own advice about honesty. Maybe things would have been different. "You should know we'd stand by you. Maybe there's more of Avon--Kerr--in you than you know."

"There must be." He finished his coffee in one long gulp and shuddered. "God, I hate this stuff. Maybe we can turn Kerr loose on the processing unit."

"For therapy?"

"Survival. Mine." He grinned and I realized I'd never seen Avon smile like that. Col had come from that same loveless household sane. Was he stronger than Avon or just luckier? "I want to stick with him, Gan," he went on. "I think I always knew I'd have to. Maybe that's one reason why I hold Jessa off, though god knows I want her."

"Maybe we should all stick together. Safety in numbers. Avon needs Vila, I think, and Blake, too, if Blake doesn't wake up wanting revenge."

"I think by the time Vila, Tarrant, Soolin and I finish with him, revenge will be the furthest thing from Blake's mind."

That made me smile. I gave him a comradely slap on the shoulder. "I'm going along to the flight deck to see how people are holding up, and then let's have dinner. I'm starting to get hungry."

"Starting?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I thought you were always hungry."

I laughed, feeling comforted by the familiar banter. "What about Avon?" I asked. "You'll check in on him?"

"I'll bring him to dinner." He hesitated. "You can tell Jessa and the 'twins' I'm his brother if you like."

"Maybe you should."

"Probably, but I'll likely be busy awhile, and they should know." He programmed himself a second cup of coffee. "I'll take this along and dose it with brandy for Kerr."

"Half and half?"

"That sounds about right."

I went to the flight deck and found Ren dozing over his instruments. He perked up when I came in, so I asked about the course. We were heading for Feran, a neutral world where we went for shore leave sometimes, running shielded. I'd told the crew about Avon's plans to develop a detector shield; he'd been working on plans for one before I'd left. Ren had claimed he could design something similar but it took all of us, the ship's computer and every reference we could pick up to get it done. I filled them in about Avon shooting Blake because I thought they should know, and they exclaimed at it. I'd tell Jessa separately.

"That's not all," Rod remarked. "You're looking mysterious."

"He doesn't know how to look mysterious," Ren corrected. "Come on, Gan, tell us."

That's when I told them about Col and Avon, which made them very excited. I'd decided the story about Avon's background was private and only said that Col had gone off to be a rebel and had severed contact with his family so he wouldn't endanger them, and that Avon had believed him dead.

"He's got ghosts jumping out of the paneling," said Ren with a wide grin.

"It's not really funny," I said seriously. "But you go and get some sleep. Can you hang on, Rod?"

"I'm fine."

"Then you get along and rest," I told Ren in the tone of voice I used when dealing with stubborn children. Ren grinned and nodded.

I walked along with him and left him in his cabin, then I went back to the medical unit.

Tarrant was sitting cross legged on his bed struggling to keep his eyes open and he looked relieved to see me. "He's still asleep, but I'm afraid I dozed off, too."

"You did, six hours or so ago. Don't worry. The computers say he's passed into normal sleep. He'll probably sleep the clock around. But go back to sleep and I'll watch him for awhile."

I dimmed the lights and Tarrant had no sooner stretched out on his bunk again before his breathing evened. It must be nice to be young.

I sat there an hour or two watching Blake and wondering at the changes in him. They'd begun before we went to Central Control. I'd followed Blake and believed in his Cause, not only because of my limiter and because they'd killed Chani but because I believed Blake was right. Avon used to get after me about it, calling me a fool for following him, but Avon had stayed too. I knew in his own way he'd followed Blake, too, though he'd never admitted it. He wasn't one for causes and always said he hated heroes. I wondered if that was because his first hero, his brother, had 'died' of his heroism and Avon feared Blake would go the same way. Avon had selected a hard road; keeping people at arms' length. He could never unbend and relax with us. The happiest times I could remember on _Liberator_ , when we found reason to laugh and enjoy ourselves, had been times when Avon was not there at all or else standing off to one side, watching us like a sentinel. Even then, I'd occasionally felt sorry for him. He didn't have to be alone. But he thought he did.

Then there was Blake himself. Blake was driven, all the more because he knew the Federation had stolen his memories and made him believe an illusion. After that, nothing could be safe. Not a comfortable thing to know. As time passed, he believed he had to do it all himself, and because we were there, we were the tools he used. It wasn't that he didn't care about us, because he did. But that made it harder, knowing he cared and realizing we might have to die for him. I don't think I could have lived with that, though commanding a ship and facing danger is something like that. The difference was that Blake drove himself for an obsession, his own personal plan to overthrow the Federation single-handed. I wondered what he'd done when he thought he'd killed me.

"Am I dead?"

I smiled at Blake who was awaking and staring at me dumbfounded. "No, and I'm not either. Hallo, Blake. Don't try to get up. You've lost a lot of blood."

His face darkened. "I remember. I was wearing armor." He poked experimentally at his belly and winced. "Avon shot me." He looked terribly vulnerable.

"Yes, he did. You'd betrayed him to the Federation, you see."

He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. "Betrayed Avon! Gan, you're mad."

"You told Tarrant--"

"I tested Tarrant--and he ran off before I could explain." He shut his eyes again.

"Are you all right?" I thought he was still dazed; he'd accepted my presence far too readily for him to be completely alert yet.

"I am a damned fool." He didn't open his eyes. "I heard people talking, something about Arlen being Federation, about Avon trying to find me because he needed me. Was that. ..was that a dream?"

"No, that was real. Avon's been chasing across the known universe looking for you, Blake. He needed you to put himself right again. Then he walked in and heard you'd sold him. Don't hold it against him for believing Tarrant. Tarrant has been fighting at his side for two years."

"So did I, Gan."

"He was afraid to take the chance. I don't think he could face another betrayal. He needs time and he needs understanding."

"He shot me!" It was a pained cry, accusation and protest and denial all in one.

"It was like shooting himself. Don't hate him, Blake."

He stared at me. "You expect a lot."

"Too much?"

He shifted, clasping a hand over his wound. "I don't know. Yes. No." His head wagged back and forth in confusion. "I don't know. I don't want to hate him, but I can hardly pretend it never happened."

"No, you can't do that. It has to be discussed. If you make it seem unimportant, you'll do more harm than good. It is important. He did a dreadful thing. Neither of you can dismiss it. You must understand and make him try to understand. Col will help."

"Who the devil is Col?"

"He's my weaponry officer and Avon's older brother."

That made Blake half sit up before his weakness forced him down again. "His brother!"

"I didn't know until today. Avon was glad to see him. He told Col all the despicable things he's done up to and including shooting you. He's asleep in Col's cabin now. I think that even if he's distancing himself from Col, he can trust him. It means there's still something alive inside him. Don't kill that part of him, Blake."

"You've learned to be eloquent." He stared at me suddenly as if he'd finally made the connection. "Gan! I didn't even think. Why aren't you dead?"

It was a plea for reason. His world was topsy turvy and not even death was final. If I had been Blake, I would have been shaken to the core.

I explained what had happened. "Servalan thought to use me so she allowed me medical treatment," I concluded with a sigh. "They still couldn't remove the limiter but I'm in one piece otherwise."

"How did you get away?"

"I was used in a prisoner exchange after the Andromedan War. The crew of this ship got me out. We're rebels and work with Avalon a lot. When their captain died, they put me in charge--mainly because I'd been with you, I think."

"Maybe for more reasons than that." He smiled at me. "I'm glad you're alive. I've had you on my conscience a long time, old friend."

"You needn't have done."

"Yes I did. I risked you needlessly. I didn't give you a way out. You'd wanted that, a chance to get out if it got too dangerous, and the further we went, the less chance there was to quit. I risked you and the others."

"You have to take risks in this business, Blake. I know that now. It's a question of judgement, I think."

Blake smiled wryly. "We missed you, Gan. I should have listened to you more often. You had two things we needed badly, common sense and integrity. Maybe it would have turned out differently if we'd paid attention to you."

"I can't tell you what to do now, Blake. I can only tell you what I think. You must make your own decisions."

He kindly ignored the fact that I'd already tried to tell him what to do about Avon, and looked past me to where Tarrant slept. "What about the others?" He asked. "My people. Who got away?"

So I told him what I knew of Gauda Prime. His face fell when he heard that out of the control room, none of his people bad been saved, but there was a chance that some of them had got away. He sagged back against his pillows, his face full of despair. "I can't seem to do anything right, can I, Gan?"

"We all make mistakes, Blake." Even I knew how trite that was. "Go on from here. It's all you can do. We've a war to win, but we won't win it with obsession."

He touched his wound again. I wondered what be was thinking but he didn't explain.

"Get some sleep, Blake," I said. "You'll feel better in the morning."

"I want to see Avon," he objected, but I shook my head. He looked like he would fall asleep in the middle of the conversation. Besides, I wanted to talk to Avon first, or better yet, have Col do it.

"Later," I said. "I'm going to round up Avon and his crew for dinner. They'll have slept enough now. Afterwards, if you're awake and if Avon is willing, I'll bring him back here."

"If _Avon_ is willing?" Blake still sounded resentful, then he went quiet, thinking. I wondered if he knew how hard it would be for Avon to walk into this room and confront him.

"I know it won't be easy," I said. "For either of you."

I awakened Tarrant, who seemed pleased at the thought of food, and sent him along to the mess. Then I checked Blake again before I left him to sleep and went to my cabin to get Vila.

My old friend was awake, but simply lying idly on the bed. He'd always been good at being idle, but this was different, not an excuse to avoid work, but simple lethargy. He lacked the energy to bother. When I came in, though, he smiled and sat up quickly. "Gan."

"Time to eat. Are you hungry, Vila?"

"I'm always hungry," he said automatically, bouncing up and heading into the fresher to wash up. When he emerged, he'd put on his public face again and seemed more like himself. It scared me to know it wasn't real.

We found the others before us in the mess, Jessa in the process of programming food for everyone. Only Rod and Avon were absent, and Rod was still on the flight deck. I turned to Col. "Where's Avon?"

"In my cabin. I told him it was time to eat, but he said he didn't want anything."

Vila jumped up again. "Didn't want anything!" He started for the door.

Tarrant and Soolin looked after him in surprise, then Soolin shook her head. "Let him go." He stopped, frowning.

Jessa came over and put a plate in front of him, and he jumped as if his thought had been far away, then he applied himself to it.

We were all eating when Vila returned, Avon in tow. The computer expert looked worse, if possible, than he had before. There were huge dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't spent his time sleeping, and when Vila made to catch his arm and draw him into the room, he jerked away from Vila and shot him a poisonous stare. Vila ignored it. Probably he had a lot of practice.

"Sit down and eat something," the thief ordered. "I'm tired of looking after you. If you starve yourself and then drop dead from hunger, I warn you, I'll only step over your body and go on."

"Did I ask your help?" Avon's voice was threatening and far too smooth.

"Time you asked somebody's," Vila muttered. He looked like he'd had enough from Avon and meant to stand up to him now, come what may.

Avon ignored him and went over to sit beside his brother without seeming to look at him. Col smiled at him easily, though I knew him well enough to tell it was forced.

Vila got Avon a plate and set it before him. When Avon only looked at it, Vila picked up a fork and held it out to him. He looked like he was prepared to stand there holding it all day if Avon didn't take it. Finally Avon did, surprise disturbing the blankness in his eyes. "I presume you mean to feed me if I don't eat?" he said sarcastically to Vila.

Vila folded his arms across his chest. "I've taken enough from you, " he snapped. "Don't think I wouldn't."

Col chuckled suddenly, snapping the tension. "I think he means it, Kerr. Perhaps I'd even help him. I seem to remember I had to stop you brooding in the old days."

"In the old days," Avon said through clenched teeth, "you had the right."

Jessa winced. "Don't talk to him like that," she cried. "Don't you think he missed you? The only reason he went away was to protect you." Col must have told her about Avon.

"It was not a protection I requested. " He looked at her down his nose as if to ask what business it was of hers.

"If you'd been _my_ brother, I would have gone away on purpose," she told him. Jessa has always been outspoken.

Vila's, "Here now, who asked you?" was overlain by Tarrant's, "Wait a minute," and Soolin's, "Stop it."

Avon raised his eyes, clearly startled to be defended by his crew. I wondered how bad things had really been there at the end.

In the silence following their outburst, Col said, "It seems your friends are ready to protect you, Kerr. I'm glad of that."

"Are you?" But some of the bitterness had faded a little; not much and it hadn't gone for good, but he looked slightly better. He picked up the fork Vila had given him and applied himself to the meal.

"Col, I--" Jessa began, suddenly guilty.

"It's all right. You said what you thought. You simply didn't have all the facts."

"I'm on your side," she tried.

"It shouldn't be a question of sides. Quite simply, I went away because I was afraid if I stayed, Kerr would pay the price for my actions. He knows that now. That doesn't mean he's ready to forgive me for deserting him and I don't expect it yet."

"What about Blake?" Ren asked. He hadn't had time to sleep much, but he was alert again. I envied him his energy, even while I regretted the question.

Avon froze at the mention of Blake, his fork suspended a few centimetres from his mouth. He didn't look at any of us, but Vila and Col turned to stare at him.

"Blake woke up a while ago," I said. "I had a talk with him. He's all right, but he's sleeping again. He'll need the rest. Whoever might want to see him can do it after dinner."

"Avon had better go first," Vila said brightly. "He knows him best."

"Hardly reason," Avon replied stiffly. "Don't let me stop you, Vila. Perhaps he can explain to you why he thought it necessary to play games with us." He sounded like he didn't care, but I thought he did, and the look on Vila's face said much the same. He was worried.

"You're so big on security yourself. Don't begrudge it to Blake."

Tarrant pushed his plate back and turned to Avon. "I'm sorry for what I said back there, but I honestly believed it. I was wrong. Take it out on me if you must."

"Instead of Blake," Vila said.

"Blake was a fool. He asked for what he got."

He looked like he regretted it as soon as he said it, but it was too late to take it back. I was glad that his crew didn't pick up on it, but unfortunately, mine did.

Ren stared. "Asked to be _shot_?" he burst out. Blake had always been his hero.

"Stupidity should be its own punishment," Avon replied without looking at Ren. "In Blake's case, it never seemed quite enough."

Ren jerked back as if he couldn't believe it. Jessa opened her mouth to object, her face outraged, then, suddenly, she stopped and took another look at Avon. "It sounds like a misunderstanding that got out of hand," she said quietly.

Col turned and stared at her and so did I. We were so used to Jessa being outspoken that the sight of her trying to ease matters was a little unusual.

"I see no point in discussing it," Avon replied and began to push his food around on his plate.

"No," she replied. "Not with us. With Blake. The two of you should apologize to each other."

"And Hell will freeze," muttered Soolin under her breath. She must have known Avon too well to expect it.

I wasn't sure enough of Blake to promise it to Avon either. More likely they'd only start to argue and make it worse.

Avon glanced sideways at Soolin then turned back to Jessa. "You know nothing of the matter. Stay out of it."

"Maybe I don't, but your brother is my friend."

I didn't know if Avon could guess any of Jessa's deeper feelings or not, but he looked from her to Col and back again with a trace of interest. Unfortunately, the interest faded immediately. He took one last bite of food and got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Vila demanded, as if he was ready to hop up and go along , too.

"Away from you," Avon replied, which I thought was rather unfair.

"As well for the rest of us," Vila muttered. "Now I can eat without that sour face of yours spoiling my appetite."

But when Avon stalked out, he looked after him, genuinely worried.

Col started to get up, but I forestalled him, rising myself. "Let me. Avon never came down as hard on me as he did on most people. I don't think he'll listen to me, but I can try."

Col and Vila exchanged considering looks, then Vila shrugged and pretended interest in his dinner, and Col turned toward Ren as if to chastise him. I followed Avon.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

I knew the ship and Avon didn't, but his few minutes head start had enabled him to vanish, and it took me about fifteen minutes to track him down. He was in the observation port, a space not much bigger than a closet that the designer had given the ship in hopes that someone would enjoy looking at the stars as much as he had. Once the door was sealed behind you, the view of space was incredible, the sky an intense black, the stars full of fire and color. Avon stood there, his attention fixed on the view, and when I came in and shut the door after me, he didn't turn around, I stood beside him and looked at him, surprised to see a momentary relaxation of his tension as he watched the sky.

For a long time, I just stood there, not even speaking, and he didn't order me away. After awhile, I ventured, "It's beautiful, isn't it? I come up here sometimes when I need to think." I added quickly, "Yes, I can think when I must. It's not quite as easy for me as it is for you."

"Sometimes I wonder if I am even capable of it," he replied quietly. I think the vastness of space had moved him. Avon had always been susceptible to beauty but he had rarely talked about it. I remember once we spent a watch together quietly, doing nothing more than enjoying the ever-changing vista presented on _Liberator's_ main screen.

After a few minutes, he glanced at me sideways. "Gan," he said, not as if talking to me but as if he was considering my survival. "The dead are rising, I see."

"It must seem that way to you, what with Col and me on the same ship."

"Yes, Col," His face closed away again, but not before I had seen something like relief flit across it.

"I should have guessed he was your brother. You're very like him."

"I should doubt that."

"He's more easygoing than you, but you're still alike. Not to look at--that's why I never guessed, But he reminded me of you more than once. I thought your brother was dead, and Col was the only name he ever gave us."

"Yes, going around announcing himself as Col Avon might have been a bit risky."

"He's worried about you," I said. "And so am I."

"Neither of you have that right."

"He's your brother. And I'm your friend."

His lip curled. I thought he would call us both fools, but he didn't. Instead he said sharply, "Why are you here?"

"I've come to take you to Blake."

"And if I choose not to go?"

"Then I'll take you there by brute force and hold you down until you talk to him."

Outrage filled his eyes, but he didn't continue to resist. Instead he said, "Then, let's get it over with." It would be beneath his dignity to struggle.

I waited a moment, watching the stars and he did the same, maybe trying to find some peace there. Then, abruptly he turned, like a man on his way to the gallows, and led the way to the medical unit. I stayed with him all the way. It wasn't that I was afraid he'd back down if I left, but I had appointed myself peacekeeper. I doubted they'd kill each other, but Avon had tried once, for whatever his reasons. I didn't want to leave them alone.

Blake was sleeping when we came in, and in spite of the scarred face and the pallor from blood loss, he looked very young and very innocent. We both knew he wasn't that. He was a hard man who had grown harder since we'd each seen him last, but he was also a man who was beginning to understand his mistakes. If he handled it right, maybe they could make peace.

"I talked to him," I said softly. "Before dinner. I told him what I thought he'd done wrong and what might be right. But I couldn't make his decisions for him. He has to make his own."

"That," said Avon, "is precisely the trouble."

At the sound of Avon's voice, Blake came awake abruptly, his eyes flying open. He half sat up before I went forward and pressed him back. "Lie down, Blake. You're not up to anything strenuous right now."

"He's right, Blake," Avon agreed flatly.

"Don't keep him talking too long, Avon," I said. "He needs rest and so do you."

I didn't leave the room. I told myself Blake needed someone to watch him and decide when he'd had enough. But I think the real reason was curiosity. What happened here would probably affect us all, so I sat down in an out-of-the-way corner where I could monitor Blake's readings. Avon glared at me then chose to ignore me.

"Avon," said Blake. He sounded irritated , frustrated. "What am I to do with you?"

Avon was uncertain. I suppose he could be as uncertain as any other man, but it didn't usually show. He shifted from one foot to the other. "You could always shoot me," he said at last, defensive and angry. I couldn't tell if the anger was meant for Blake or for himself.

"Oh, come, Avon, that's the easy way. Neither of us were ever very good at that."

" _You_ never were."

It came to me that Avon didn't know what to say. I remembered how Vila and the others had implied he was falling apart and it reminded me of an ancient statue I'd once seen, Greek or Roman, they said it was, of a man who looked a bit like Avon. The statue was so old and battered that chunks of it had fallen away but the face was untouched, revealing pride, arrogance, a touch of defiance. Once of the arms was gone entirely, and a hand, chunks of torso and the back of the head, but that face kept on staring out defiantly. It reminded me of Avon now.

And it made me think of Col's wide-eyed little brother standing helpless amid friends because he didn't know how to behave when people were friendly. I was glad Col was here for Avon. He would need him.

"Have you come for absolution, Avon?" Blake asked. He wasn't ready to give up his sense of betrayal. But Avon felt betrayed too. It was amazing how much they'd been able to trust each other in spite of everything before this happened.

"I was told you sold me." Still defensive.

"Couldn't you trust me?"

"There comes a point when trust and suicide reach equal proportions, Blake. Should I have trusted you until you handed me over to the Federation?"

"I never meant to do that. I was waiting for you."

"So you said, along with several other thoroughly ambiguous remarks."

"I knew what I meant."

"That, of course, makes all the difference."

Blake shook his head sorrowfully. "Avon, Avon," he muttered. "I'd forgotten how difficult you are."

To my surprise--and Avon's--he smiled suddenly, that warm smile full of sunlight and promise that showed too rarely but that could make men follow him blindly into hell. Sometimes I'd believed he did it deliberately, to get us to do his bidding, because Blake was good at manipulating people, but this time it came naturally. "I always missed you."

Avon had expected that no more than he'd expected the smile and it confused him. He opened his mouth to speak and shut it again.

"That's why I was waiting for you," Blake concluded.

"Because you missed me? Not because I was useful, not because your Cause was at stake, not because you needed someone who knows computers or had a mission that required my gifts? I don't believe you."

"It's a risk, Avon," Blake replied. "It's up to you to believe or not. Yes, I want you for my Cause. I never denied it. Yes, I could use your skills. But that's not what I'm talking about now. I wanted you to come back. That's why I left information for Orac to find." Take it or leave it, his expression said.

"Why?" Avon asked and no more.

Blake shook his head. "I don't know. I found I needed you."

"Oh, you used to do much better than that, Blake," Avon breathed.

"Did I?"

"I should know. You never considered me on _Liberator_. You knew I'd be there and I resented that. I'm no puppet to dance when you pull the strings. Those days are gone."

"Is that all I was to you, Avon?" Blake asked. "Is that how you viewed me?" His voice was full of pain. Now that he'd seen Avon again, his anger was fading and he wanted Avon back. I had hoped for that.

"Not entirely," Avon replied with difficulty. I hoped the pain in Blake's voice wasn't more manipulation. "But it was the only wise way to react to you. You should have been a puppeteer, Blake. You were damned good at it. You even had Vila following you."

"He follows you now, I'm told."

That made Avon freeze. "No more," he said so softly I had to strain to hear him.

"Avon." Suddenly Blake's voice was very gentle. "You would never had done it." He must have overheard us talking about the shuttle.

Avon's head shot up. He didn't question Blake's knowledge. "Are you so very sure of that?" he hissed .

"Yes, I'm so very sure of that." Blake propped himself up on his elbows and fairly snapped the words out. "You took my ship and crew and kept them in trust for me. You might have lost them when it was beyond your control, like Cally, but you wouldn't kill them yourself, not even to save your own life."

I wasn't quite sure of that and Blake's wound belied it, but neither man appeared to think of that. "You had to pretend you would because otherwise you'd have to look at your own motives too closely, but you wouldn't have done it. You made damned sure Vila would hide from you and you looked in all the wrong places for him. You didn't kill Vila."

"I killed Cally and caused the _Liberator's_ destruction, " Avon recited tonelessly. "I tried to kill _you_."

"You believed me a traitor, and you didn't choose to cause Cally's death. You couldn't prevent that. You could prevent killing Vila."

"Then both of us would have died. What good would that have done?"

"None, but it didn't come to that. You're too clever to have let it happen. Why did you keep searching when you couldn't find Vila?"

"Egrorian had meant us to die," Avon said automatically. "I knew there had to be something on that ship to keep us from achieving escape velocity. The shuttle had worked before. Therefore, something was different and it was not merely Vila's weight. It was something heavy that Egrorian had caused to be placed there."

He looked surprised at himself, as if he'd never reasoned it out before. Maybe he hadn't, except in his subconscious. "You seem very sure of yourself," he accused Blake.

"I _am_ very sure of myself. You knew there was another solution and you got Vila out of the way to look for it. If you'd found him, you'd have had to kill him, so you looked in the wrong places. I'm certain of it, Avon. I'm not saying it might not have happened differently, but this wasn't that time, and I'll tell Vila so, if you like."

"You could always rationalize everything," Avon accused, but without heat.

"I'm not rationalizing, Avon. I'm trying to get through that thick skull of yours--and that was always a thankless task."

"Yet you kept doing it." Avon was more relaxed, still tense and ready to bolt, but if he could make it through this conversation, he had a chance of coming out all right eventually. I wondered where Col was and half hoped he was listening at the door.

"Habit," said Blake lightly, then he shook his head. "No, damn it. I'm tired of word games. We've had more than enough of them already. It was never a thankless task, Avon. It was always worthwhile and still is. I should have come back after Star One."

"Why didn't you?" Avon asked. "I'd given my word; we'd have taken you to Earth, and--"

" I didn't want to go to Earth!" Blake burst out. "Maybe I knew you were right, that the various rebel factions would squabble amongst themselves and miss their chance to unite while the Federation was weak. If I'd gone to Earth, I might have prevented that, but probably not. It would have ended any chance of staying on the _Liberator_ with the rest of you though."

Avon looked exasperated. "There was certainly no chance of it whilst you played hide and seek across the Inner and Outer Worlds."

"But the option was there. I used to dream of coming back, then I'd laugh at myself, wondering what I wanted to do. The lot of you gave me more trouble than any rebel group I'd been affiliated with before. It took a lot of thinking to realize that the other groups were simply business, a job. You and the others on _Liberator_ were my family. I knew that, when I was ready to come home, you might complain and mock and fight, but you'd take me back."

To my surprise, Avon didn't deny it. "Then why didn't you come back?"

"I was afraid I was wrong. I knew the others would welcome me, but you might go to the opposite extreme to prove you had never needed me. So when I finally realized I was stalling, I decided to meet on my ground. I wanted that much security. When I heard you were coming, when I found Tarrant, I was too nervous to handle it right. I'd learned suspicion. I didn't trust people anymore. I trusted you though. I'd find myself thinking, 'That will different when Avon comes,' or 'When Avon gets here, we'll do this or that'. Then, you came and shot me."

"I wasn't a mind reader," Avon cried. "It had been two years. I couldn't read the slightest twitch of your eyebrow anymore. Think about what you said. 'I set all this up. I was waiting for you.'"

"I know. I was so sure of what I meant that I couldn't hear how it would sound to you."

"I wanted you to be the same," Avon confessed in a low voice. "When it seemed you'd changed too much, I only had one thing left. I had to stop you before you confirmed my suspicions. I couldn't let you admit you'd sold us." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I shot you, Blake, but you asked for it. As well paint a target on your chest." He bit his lip and looked down at Blake. "How bad is it?"

"Superficial. I had body armor. Evidently it was cheap body armor. I'll have some interesting scars, but I'll be up tomorrow."

I didn't plan to let him up so soon, but it wasn't the time to say so. I didn't dare interrupt. Blake had done more for Avon than the rest of us could, though finding his bother again had prepared the way.

"What will you do now, Blake?" Avon asked. He sounded much more comfortable and his posture was relaxed.

"Now?"

"The Federation overran your base. We're on Gan's ship and Col says we're on course to Feran, a non-aligned world."

"Col?" asked Blake.

"My brother." Avon sounded rather satisfied. I thought he'd get along better with Col now. "He's one of Gan's crew."

"I'd thought he was dead. I remember when we first boarded _Liberator_ that defense program showed you an image of him."

"I thought him dead as well. I was wrong."

Blake looked at Avon in surprise. I didn't wonder Avon sounded openly delighted. "I'm glad for you," said Blake. "Are you planning to join him?"

"I rather think this ship is too small for the rest of us, Blake."

The rest of _us?_ Avon still though of Vila and the others as his crew, and by extension, Blake's. A unit. It might be nice to team with Blake again, but the _Voice_ was too small for ten people. Ren and Rod shared a cabin but they were nearly Siamese twins anyway. I couldn't see Avon sharing a cabin, even with Col, and putting Blake in with Tarrant would probably be a mistake. Maybe we could get a bigger ship. It was good to see Vila again, and I thought I could cope with Tarrant and Soolin, though I hadn't seen them at their best. I hadn't seen Avon and Blake at their best either, but they just might come around.

"The rest of _us_?" Blake echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"The rest of you," Avon corrected quickly, embarrassed at his slip.

"No," I said, joining them. "The rest of _us._ We could find a bigger ship. We work for Avalon and she might be able to come up with something."

"Then Blake would lead us once again in his reckless game." Avon sounded mocking but not hostile.

"Blake would try to be more circumspect," said Blake.

"The key word is 'try'. I know you, Blake. Your obsession--"

"Led to too many deaths. Jenna's dead, Avon. There are others. Deva, the people on my base. Obsession is for terrorists."

"What else were we on _Liberator_ , Blake?"

"I grant you that. It will take more than blowing up Federation bases, though that has its place. Deva's been telling me that, but I've still been playing games. Bounty hunter was the last of them. Organization is the key. I've recently been in touch with Avalon myself, through Del Grant. She wants to do something about the threat of Pylene-50, and she's right. But something else I've realized is that we run around putting out small fires and never touch the source. We need a bigger power base and some long range planning. I know you're no rebel, Avon, though you've been acting as one lately. Still, you're one of the most intelligent men I've ever known. Think of it as an intellectual exercise if you will, but design me a reasonable plan."

"Why should I?"

Blake patted his stomach. "Absolution?"

"That's not fair."

Blake looked regretful. "I know, and I'm sorry. Do it to prove I've been wrong and you've been right."

"Well, now, that does sound better." Avon actually smiled. "I will need to consult the others." I thought that was new, and Blake must have thought so too, for he smiled contentedly.

"Fine," I said. "But consult them tomorrow. Blake should be sleeping, and so should you. You're exhausted. I think you've said what you came here to say."

"More than what I had to say." Avon stalked over to the door, paused, and looked back at Blake. "Blake, I--"

"Yes, Avon?"

"I'm glad you're alive." He left without looking back.

When Blake saw me looking at him, he wiped away his fond smile. "All right, I'll sleep." Then, as he relaxed against his pillow, he added quietly, "I feel...whole again, Gan."

"You don't blame him for shooting you now?"

"I understand why it happened. That's a different thing."

"Then it's all right?"

"I think so. We both know it won't be easy. I'm glad about his brother. He needed something positive, and it sounds like his brother is good for him. Just like you're good for me. After you 'died', I fell apart. I didn't realize it for a long time, but that's what happened. I let my Cause destroy people but I couldn't stop. I used people. There were times when I couldn't tell my motives from the Federation's. Do you understand that?"

I nodded. "But you saw what you were doing. You can stop. They can't. Don't give up your Cause, Blake. It's part of you. Just listen to the rest of us sometimes."

"Good advice."

"Only if you follow it."

He grinned. "Avon will be sure to tell me if I don't." He closed his eyes and I went to straighten his blanket.

"Will your people want to join forces with us?" he asked sleepily.

I thought of Ren and Rod and their ardor for Blake's Cause. If Blake had forgiven Avon, they would too. Jessa was determined to plunge into rebellion, and Col would probably refuse to let Avon out of his sight until he was sure 'Kerr' would be all right. I remembered how protective Vila had been of Avon even after the shuttle, and the way Soolin and Tarrant has surprised themselves by standing up for Avon. Then there was Avon himself, coming in here to make his peace with Blake, probably one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

"Oh, I don't know," I said with a smile. "We'll bear it somehow." I patted his shoulder companionably. "Now go to sleep. That's an order."

"Captain Gan," he mumbled and drifted off to sleep.

'Captain Gan' had a nice ring to it, but I doubted it would last much past Blake's recovery. He wouldn't take a back seat to anyone when it came to his rebellion, and I didn't mind. I'd always felt myself a stand-in for Blake anyway.

I let myself out of the medical unit and headed for the flight deck. I knew there were still a lot of problems ahead of us, but I thought we just might make it this time

 


End file.
